Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

NY retail worker safety law takes effect this week. Here’s what it does. - Gothamist

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Is Jesus God almighty?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why do Puerto Ricans come to this country flying their flags over in the United States all over their cars? They're so proud of their country. Why are they here?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio's Project Century Gets A Strange New Title - GameSpot

I can count

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Sharpest View of the Sun Reveals Magnetic Stripes the Size of Manhattan - Gizmodo

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

17 more Rite Aid stores to close in WA, including 4 Bartell Drugs - The Seattle Times

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t cotton to rapists

Jane Birkin’s original Hermès bag goes on sale - CNN

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What are some common examples of condescending behavior?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What does it mean if someone asks if it’s pink?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What Happened at Pitchfork’s Zine Launch With Turnstile - Pitchfork

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why do atheists love to preach against Abrahamic religions and mock God? Even if they do not fear the eternal fire of hell, pious Muslims will certainly not leave them alone and will take brutal revenge until they surrender and repent of their sins.

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fakery